Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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