Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sorry about my life...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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