My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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