I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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