I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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