Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
