I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Randomize
