Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
