i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
