Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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