You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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