Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
