i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
