There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
