dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I fill condoms, not promises.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
