he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
As shirtless as possible
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
