I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
