i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
This is classic penis vs brain.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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