Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
