Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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