Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
