is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
