spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
