ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
