living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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