I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
