There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize