Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
