I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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