Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
no, he came in my armpit
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
