I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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