3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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