Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
