i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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