Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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