We're facebook friends in real life
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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