Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize