tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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