Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize