He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
