i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
