my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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