I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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