i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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