I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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