apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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