alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
