I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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