Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My penis needs a shock collar
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
