The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize