every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
