the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
