The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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