Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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