If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
