doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
