people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it's like iHOP with fire
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
